I believe that I would have received a solid eight on my essay, if this were a real AP test. I did manage to properly get the analysis right, and I focused in on the specifics of Moses' relationship with nature. How he views it as a freeing experience, and how the rain and the dew symbolizes his rebirth into the world as a 'free' man, despite his status as a slave. In particular, I mention that the passage almost comes across as a man who is trying to reclaim ownership of himself, and his 'possessions' ---- which, as of now, belonged to him, and not his master. Because the rain rebirths him ---- baptizes him ---- he awakens, covered in dew, as a man who is no longer strung to his master in the same way the harness is strung to his mule.
I also employ a complex analysis ---- I examine Moses' relationship with bondage and freedom, the tone prevalent in the piece as a reflection of Moses's character. I look past the face-value of his connection to nature, and examine the intricacies in the symbolism of nature itself. I also cite the passage in order to better support my argument, to look into the piece as a whole. I didn't really have any concerns about the maturity of my writing, but I do have to take into account that I had the luxury of a word processor in lieu of a pen and pencil, which meant that it was easier for me to jog my memory and use a larger vocab, because of my awful tendency to recycle words and repeat them in handwritten work.
Working on that should better my writing as a whole, as it will allow for me to better employ a more mature repertoire of words, and will lead to better results in terms of my score.
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